No Trespassing

trespass |ˈtrespəs, -ˌpas|
1. the crime of going on someone’s land without permission
2. a sin or other wrong or improper act

Origin: Middle English trespas, from Anglo-French, passage, overstepping, misdeed, from trespasser

-Merriam-Webster Dictionary

The sign hung like a threat on an old weathered gate, streaks of rust bleeding down its edges. Between the metal bars gleamed slivers of ocean and clear blue sky, lit up with rays of light. The land beyond the gate glittered like a virtual heaven, while the dust settling on the road behind me seemed just plain old dirt. The gate marked a divide, real and abstract. It marked the boundary between where I was allowed and where I was forbidden. Where I was welcome and where I was not welcome. Where I had a rightful place and where I did not belong.

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Preparing to Leave

Sunset in Santa Cruz

Don’t focus on what you have, focus on who you are. -Sean Guinan

In preparation for the trip, I am sorting through all of my possessions, deciding what to bring, what to store, and what to let go of. It’s easy to sell or give away things that I haven’t used in awhile. But one exception is a plastic box full of photos that I keep on a high shelf, hidden above surfboards, bikes, and backpacking equipment, covered with a thick layer of dust.

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Commitment

Aloe Driscoll surfing at Middle Peak in Santa Cruz.

“Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.”
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

My finger etches anxious lines on the trackpad of my laptop, my mouse dancing in circles around the SUBMIT button. I want to go on this trip, I have been thinking, talking, planning, dreaming about this for years. I have always deferred to a job, a boyfriend, a house, the possibility of a swell window at my favorite surf spot, the potential for snow. It’s easy to find one million reasons why not to go. But lately I’ve been thinking about one good reason why I should go. It’s hard to define exactly what it is; but it’s something tangible that lives between my heart and my stomach. 

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